What Lou doesn't know is that there's nothing wrong with Andy's legs, and whenever he turns his back, Andy's off out of his chair and gambolling about like a fat, balding, semi-naked spring lamb. Andy the philosopher Andy's not as monosyllabic as you might think, and in fact has strongly held opinions on a wide range of subjects.
For example: The sea : Andy thinks the sea is a dark and brutal force that has dragged many an innocent to a watery grave. France : France can never be forgiven for surrendering to the German war machine and collaborating with their occupiers to set up the Vichy government.
Ice skating : It's boring. He spends his spare time helping his best friend Andy, who — unbeknownst to Lou — feigns the need for a wheelchair. Moreover, his fashion sense primarily encompasses the s, which is apparent from his general attire.
He is typically seen wearing an awkward juxtaposition of trainers, blue tracksuit trousers, a T-shirt with slogans such as "I ran the World" or "Frankie Says RELAX - Don't do it" and a s-style leather jacket with the sleeves pushed up to near the elbow.
He speaks with a slight Cockney accent, with a lisp. Andy is impatient, selfish, has no respect for other sentient beings, appears to be unintelligent, has no interest in the world outside his local area, and is incredibly lazy.
The police add that he was wearing a 'cream coloured formal shirt, dark braces and silver buckles'. We pay for your stories! Do you have a story for The Sun Online news team? Email us at tips the-sun.
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